It's harder to lose someone then you think

I can’t do it anymore. He means too much to me. I don’t care how stooped it sounds; he is my reason to live. He’s my reason to keep going. And the reason that I’m alive today. But I can’t have a relationship to a guy like him. He can’t even say that he cares about me. And he’s lying to me too. But, he means the world to me. Al since I last talked to him, I’ve felt so empty, and crushed. I know that I was the one how closed him out of my life, but he didn’t even bother to talk to me, not even sending me a message. I don’t think he know how much he’s been hurting me. But I just couldn’t stop seeing him. Deep inside, he’s a wonderful person. And I want to be that wonderful persons friend. I love him. I don’t want to hide that. But now it seems like I have to. Because I don’t think that he’ll ever wants me bake.